The Flying Dentures

It was Easter Sunday and the attendance was more than usual at our little country church.  We could always count on the church being full on Easter and Christmas.  This particular morning, Mildred got to church early.  She had worn her best dress and cleaned up "real good". Mildred was a wonderful old hill woman.  I say that affectionately and with no prejudice.  She was one of those "what you see is what you get" people.   So many try to impress others or pretend to be something they are not.  However, that was not the case with Mildred.  She always looked on the bright side of things.  No matter how bad things were, she would say, "things could be worse."  Like many people in the area, she had the unfortunate experience of having all her teeth  removed and was fitted with a set of dentures.  It was disappointing to her that they did not fit her quite right.  This particular Easter morning her teeth were very uncomfortable.  She resisted taking them out during the song service but during the prayer, she saw her chance to remove them without anyone noticing.  She took them out and wrapped them in a handkerchief and slipped them into her pocket.

The preacher was half way through the sermon when Audrey, who was seated beside Mildred, sneezed.  She reached for a handkerchief in her pocket.  Unaware that her hand went into Mildred's pocket instead,  she was puzzled when she felt something hard.  She pulled it out and when she saw the set of  teeth, she screamed and threw them into the air.  The teeth went sailing across the congregation, landing in Ethel's lap.  Ethel shrieked and gave them another toss into the air.  Harvey saw them coming in his direction and reached up to catch them in mid-air.

It did not seem to bother Mildred that everyone was laughing at her expense.  She hollered to Harvey and said "hang on to 'em and I'll git 'em frum ya afta da preacher man quit his preachin".  After the congregation calmed down, the preacher continued his sermon.  The service ended as respectably as it had started.  

This happened more than 50 years ago.  Things have certainly changed but I remember with affection my childhood as an adventurous time.