Fumbling in the Dark
Have you ever been through something that you know would make a great story but reliving it in order to write it all down is just too daunting. The fact that you lived through it once is unbelievable and the thought of writing it all down is just too exhausting.
My husband and I have fallen into a ministry of helping needy people. It wasn't planned and it isn't something that I ever dreamed I would be doing to this extent. I have always been a person who likes to help others. I suppose it comes from being a mom and wanting to fix everything.
A song that I often sing in my prayer time that says, "Soften my heart Lord, Soften my heart, From all indifference, Set me apart, To feel your compassion, To weep with your tears, Come soften my heart, O Lord, Soften my heart." I liked the tune and sang it often but I remember one time when I was singing it that I realized I was no longer just singing a tune but really praying the words. It was then that my life began to change. God began to bring people into my life who were in desperate situations. My whole view of the world changed. I realized how many people we pass daily that are in terrible trouble. We pass them by and smile blindly in their direction as we go on our way, while they sink a little deeper into desperation.
I feel like I am fumbling in the dark as I try to help these dear people. I have no idea what I am doing most of the time. But that is where faith comes in. God calls, we answer, He leads, we follow. I don't have to know where I am going or what I will be doing as long as I know the one who is leading me. Yesterday I was on my way to answer a call from a woman in crisis, I had a terrible feeling that I was going to be killed for getting involved and trying to help her. I actually saw in my mind's eye the scene of me being shot and feeling the bullet rip through my flesh as I fell to the ground. I began to cry and I was very afraid but I kept driving. I remember thinking, "What am I doing? I don't know what I am going to do when I get there. I can turn around now, go home and be safe." But I just kept driving and prayed that God would keep me safe and help me to know what to do. Another life was in danger and I was the only person in the would who was on their way to help her. If I turned around, she would have no one. I knew if it were me in her shoes, I would want someone to help me. The fact that I am writing this tells you that I did not die. She is in a safe place for the time being. We will see what tomorrow brings.
My husband and I have fallen into a ministry of helping needy people. It wasn't planned and it isn't something that I ever dreamed I would be doing to this extent. I have always been a person who likes to help others. I suppose it comes from being a mom and wanting to fix everything.
A song that I often sing in my prayer time that says, "Soften my heart Lord, Soften my heart, From all indifference, Set me apart, To feel your compassion, To weep with your tears, Come soften my heart, O Lord, Soften my heart." I liked the tune and sang it often but I remember one time when I was singing it that I realized I was no longer just singing a tune but really praying the words. It was then that my life began to change. God began to bring people into my life who were in desperate situations. My whole view of the world changed. I realized how many people we pass daily that are in terrible trouble. We pass them by and smile blindly in their direction as we go on our way, while they sink a little deeper into desperation.
I feel like I am fumbling in the dark as I try to help these dear people. I have no idea what I am doing most of the time. But that is where faith comes in. God calls, we answer, He leads, we follow. I don't have to know where I am going or what I will be doing as long as I know the one who is leading me. Yesterday I was on my way to answer a call from a woman in crisis, I had a terrible feeling that I was going to be killed for getting involved and trying to help her. I actually saw in my mind's eye the scene of me being shot and feeling the bullet rip through my flesh as I fell to the ground. I began to cry and I was very afraid but I kept driving. I remember thinking, "What am I doing? I don't know what I am going to do when I get there. I can turn around now, go home and be safe." But I just kept driving and prayed that God would keep me safe and help me to know what to do. Another life was in danger and I was the only person in the would who was on their way to help her. If I turned around, she would have no one. I knew if it were me in her shoes, I would want someone to help me. The fact that I am writing this tells you that I did not die. She is in a safe place for the time being. We will see what tomorrow brings.
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